Since I have been seeing so many posts with this tag, I have been vacillating about whether or not to post myself.
In the spirit of #Authenticity, which I have been doing everything in my power to live by, I decided that I would. Authenticity requires brutal honesty with myself as well as vulnerability.
I was one of those early bloomers, and an easy mark for men since I did not have access to what I would consider a strong male role model. I don’t think that my father could even deal with the fact that my sexual maturity came on so young, while my emotional maturity lagged years behind.
The leering and jeers almost seemed normal. I thought it was just something boys and men did, and I had to accept it with as much grace as I could muster.
There was one instance when I was being chauffeured home from a babysitting job at the age of 13, that the”dad” reached over as if it were nothing and started to fondle my breasts. I can hardly remember what he was saying at the time, nor do I remember my response. I was in a state of shock. I said nothing about, until I was well into my adult life.
When I finally came clean, the response I got from my parents was, “Not surprised. It sounds like something he’d do.”
I believe that so many women around my age, grew up believing as I did that it was just something we had to deal with. The problem with that is, it traumatizes us deeply, to the point that we numb out. Authentic relationships with men, intimate or otherwise, are always challenging. I have not been able to sustain an intimate relationship with a man for very long at all.
What I have done is accepted it as something that happened to me and not a part of who I am, which allows me to be more authentically me, and in a position to impact other women, in particular in positively healthy way.
Love to all you Warrior Goddess Women who are coming forward.